Lidia Yuknavitch’s Weblog

the body of the word

how it feels to write query letters for your first novel

bud light and cuervo girls

1. LOOK AT MY TITS!! they EXPLODE BEER!!

2. isn’t my ass shiny?

3. um, my first interview for an academic job was in a hotel room where i had to talk to four male intellectuals while seated on a bed. we’ve moved past that, right? i don’t have to sit on a bed and self narrate?

4. i’m a little teapot short and stout.

5. because if you don’t pick me i’ll suck out your eyeballs and shit them back out into your skull.

6. hello, my name is lidia yuknavitch. isn’t that enthnic sounding?

7. please please please with sugar on top and a cherry.

8. i own a baretta.

9. what do you mean i’m too old for this game? my twat has more experience than your career.

10. i promise to devote myself to you as my lord and personal savior, whoever you are, wherever you are, no matter what your moral compass looks like. after all, i come from a country that has fuckwhacked itself politically worldwide, and i have blond hair, big titties, blue eyes, and better skin than brittny, paris, jessica, scarlett, or angelina. amen.

August 11, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment