shut the fuck up, gosh darn it
ok so i have refrained from sucking sarah palin’s brain out through her eye sockets because i don’t particularly feel the need to bash women just to bash them–i’m still puzzled by how many of my liberal friends went after the hillinator, whose intelligence and experience, by the way, is looking gosh darn good in retrospect, and whose balls i have a bit of nostalgia for…and i truly believe satire is a potent form of critique, so i’ll leave that to the experts (tina fey makes me laugh hard enough to wet myself).
but i did write a post explaining why sarah palin’s claim to be feminist was moose poopy. it was an issue very important to me. this woman is not a proponent for women, children and minorities, and i could back that assertion up with her voting record and how she lives her life.
i tried really hard to leave things be until the election is over, to the point of giving myself an ulcer. but the debate the other night and the subsequent moronic assessments out there that she “held her own,” that the debate resulted in a tie, that she did a heck of a job, well, i just can’t let that shit ride.
here are my three arguments for why sarah palin needs to shut the fuck up:
1. she can’t speak english. i’m sorry, tina fey not withstanding, it is NOT OK and WAY BEYOND FUNNY into SERIOUSLY DANGEROUS that she can’t make a sentence with this little thing we call GRAMMAR in english. my god. i’ve got developmental writing students who can construct sentences more better than her. whatever is up with her use of the “and so too” construction is a symptom of the larger mouth to brain bridge that just aint there…she DOESN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT WORDS MEAN OR HOW TO PUT THEM IN A ROW. when asked about her achilles heel, she listed her strengths. somebody should have sat her down with TROY so she could get the six pack and pom poms out while brad pitt exemplified to her how an achilles heel is not a strength. jesus christ. point: her sentences are not sentences. which means she can’t speak english. her linguistic loop de loops are tantamount to putt putt golf.
maureen dowd, who i often don’t like, made good words about this issue at:
2. her role model is a sith. in addition to the fact that she hasn’t a wit’s notion what the position of vice president entails, she also seems to think that the power of the position is what’s important about it. as in getting that power. similarly, she sees her six pack joe’s and flute playin’ bikini wearin’ moose shootin’ hockey moms as the army she will bring to washington. after all, she’s an outsider.
that part is true. she is an outsider. an outsider to social justice, an outsider to human rights, an outsider to free inquiry and intellectual exploration, an outsider to environmental ethics, an outsider to science, an outsider to foreign policy and geopolitical reality, and oh yeah, an outsider to LANGUAGE.
3. whose your daddy. did you SEE that couric re-do where mccain felt the need to sit next to her and answer her questions? sorry to get all freudian on your asses, but the tag-team of mccain palin is so painfully oedipal it makes my tits hurt. i’m serious. when i watch them together everything i’ve ever learned about psycho-social and psycho-sexual architecture REARS ITS HEAD like a giant floating girl baby with a tiny old man sucking on her not yet there titties. if i watch them together too long i really can vomit. can we say dysfunctional?
so to recap, she’s an unethical empty headed moron in need of a speech therapist, a microchip implant, and a daddy.
and she’s an unbelievably shitty flute player.
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