Hillary, Barack, and where they can stick their money

look i’m media literate. big time. i’m down with sign system semiotics and the politics of image manipulation.

which is why i don’t need to see millions of dollars worth of advertising in order to make my choices. hey barack and hillary–here are some ideas on what to do with your piles of money that make more sense than spending it on yourselves to get elected:

1. don’t just go to new orleans and hold a campaign event, go down there and give them your money. seriously. our government has let those people down in criminal ways. do what nike does. just do it.

2. give homeless people places to live, and feed starving people. i’m not EVEN talking about 3rd world excursions. i’m talking about here.

3. hire the team it’s going to take to socialize medicine in the country.

4. give money to the arts–not the entertainment industry, mind you, they have enough money. i’m talking about artists who have to go without insurance or medicine or housing or food to make their art. oh and put art and music back in the schools, please, before we breed any more generations of bush-like, cheney-like, rumsfeld-like tards.

5. bail out my single mom friend who is probably one of the most talented artists i know, and who would be making art that matters in the world if she didn’t spend every second of her exhausted life worrying how she’s going to afford to stay alive and give a life to her daughter.

6. bail out my father of three friend and his wife who got evicted out of a home their landlord stopped paying the mortgage on due to the dreaded sub-prime fiasco–and get the irs off his ass while you are at it so he can live in peace and write and teach.

7. pay the fees for all my gay and lesbian friends who deserve to get married if they want to. it’s the least you can do, since you are both unable to talk openly about supporting gay people on, well, any issue. pussies.

8. float a buck or two for rehab and counseling centers so we can stop treating people with radically difficult human problems as outcasts and criminals.

9. give the people who no doubt clean up after you and take care of your lawns and the johns in buildings you work in a fattie raise.

10. give your life’s wealth over to native americans. it’s their america you hope to run.